After 4 months, what could go wrong?

Okay, seriously.  After all that waiting, we come down to departure and we have:

1)  Blizzard in SLC.
2)  Storm warning in the Northeast.
3)  Subway strike starting in London the day we land.
4)  Riots in Delhi.

Well, it will all turn out.  Provided we can get off the ground here tonight.

Cycling

Last night Dave said he was going to go to the gym at 5:30 this morning for a cycle class.  I woke up this morning about 6:45 and noticed he wasn't in bed.  This is our conversation via text:

Did you leave?

No.

What are you doing?

Using the potty.

If we had an elliptical, you could do that at home.

I just realized why he thought I was crazy.  ROFL!! 

Bringing up children in light and truth George Albert Smith #22

Our lesson today is: Bringing  Up Children in Light and Truth.  The Lord has given parents the responsibility to teach their children the gospel by word and example.

As I read over the lesson, two things came to mind.  First, it reminded me a lot of the proclamation on the family, first presented in a talk entitled Stand Strong Against the Wiles of the World, by President Gordon B. Hinckley, Sept. 1997.  I will be referencing that talk in the lesson.  Second, I was reminded again, how imperfect and inadequate I am.  Believe me, I have this calling, not because I am the most qualified, but because I am the least.

In this lesson GAS outlines 5 principles regarding our responsibilities.

First, Parents have the primary responsibility to teach their children the gospel.

In the proclamation on the family, we read:

HUSBAND AND WIFE have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

In Mosiah 4:14-15, King Benjamin taught:

And ye will not suffer your ^achildren that they go hungry, or naked; neither will ye ^bsuffer that they transgress the laws of God, and fight and ^cquarrel one with another, and serve the devil, who is the master of sin, or who is the ^devil spirit which hath been spoken of by our fathers, he being an enemy to all righteousness.

 But ye will ^ateach them to ^bwalk in the ways of truth and ^csoberness; ye will teach them to ^dlove one another, and to serve one another

(Quote 1)

President George Albert Smith proclaimed:

One of the greatest and richest of all your blessings will be that which comes if you teach as you should, and train as you should these choice spirits that our Heavenly Father is sending to the world in this latter day. … Do not leave the training of your children to the public schools. Do not leave their training to the Primary, to the Sunday School, to the [Church’s youth organizations]. They will help you and make a fine contribution but remember what God himself has said, that parents who do not teach their children faith in God, repentance and baptism and the laying on of hands when eight years of age, the sin be upon the heads of the parents [see D&C 68:25–28]. This is not a threat, my brethren and sisters, that is the kind and loving advice of our Heavenly Father who knows all things and understands and realizes what it means when children are allowed to grow up without this training. 

Like all commandments, rather than a threat, it is a great promise.  President Hinckley affirmed:

The more surely you rear your children in the ways of the gospel of Jesus Christ, with love and high expectation, the more likely that there will be peace in their lives.

Why do you think the Lord has given parents, rather than other organizations, the responsibility to teach their family the gospel.

2.  Other interests must not cause us to lose sight of our duty to teach our children.

President Smith counseled:

We are told in Luke that there would be a time when men would be choked with the cares and the riches and the pleasures of life [see Luke 8:14]. I have in my mind … even now, men and women that I love, whose very spirituality is being choked by these very things, and the adversary is leading them along that easy pathway of pleasure and they are neglecting their duty as parents and as members of the Church of Jesus Christ.

The proclamation on the family further clarifies this principle, when it teaches:

By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.

Although today the world scorns the role of mothers, we must never forget this truth, taught by George Albert Smith:

It is the home, which produces the nursery stock of new generations. I hope that you mothers will realize that when all is said and done, you have no more compelling responsibility, nor any laden with greater rewards, than the nurture you give your children in an environment of security, peace, companionship, love, and motivation to grow and do well.

Sister Hinckley was always so cute and positive.  I love what she said:

“I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails.
I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbor’s children. I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden. I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder. I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived.”

I have a story from the manual.  It is really long, but worthwhile:

Have someone tell story.

When I read this story, I was reminded of an incident that happened a few weeks ago with Keaton.  One Saturday, we sent him to go to the temple to do baptisms.  He was gone for a longer time than we expected, but when he returned, he said that it was just really busy.  Later on the next week, I realized that the temple was closed!  When I confronted Keaton about it, he said when he saw the temple was closed, he’d just gone out to breakfast.  At first, I was really mad, but then I remembered that Keaton has always told us he likes going to the temple, but he doesn’t like going by himself.  He wants to go with his dad.  So, the problem was really ours, not Keaton’s.

In the book 25 Mistakes LDS Parents Make and How to Avoid Them, one of the mistakes is not being there at the Crossroads of our kids lives. 

What does it mean to be at the Crossroads, and how can we make sure we are there?

3.  A parent’s example can lead a child to safety, righteousness, and happiness.

President Smith said:

Let us be examples of righteousness to our children, have our family prayers and ask the blessing upon the food. Let our children see that as husbands and wives we are affectionate with one another. While there is yet time take the opportunity as husbands and wives to bless each other with your love, with your kindness and your helpfulness in every way. Take opportunity while there is yet time to teach your sons and daughters how to live to be happy. … Let our homes be sanctuaries of peace and hope and love.

President Smith said the following about his own parents:

(Quote 2)

“I don’t know of any man in all the world who has more reason to be grateful than I. I am thankful for my birthright, thankful for parents who taught me the gospel of Jesus Christ and set the example in their home. If I have done anything that I should not have done in my life, it would be something that I could not have learned in my mother’s home.

He then relates this story:

Only a few days ago I saw a letter from a man who had probably lived half his life. In writing to his father he said: “Your consideration for your loved ones, your teaching of me, the examples that you set me, have been an inspiration for me to do what the Lord would have me do. I have felt in following in your footsteps I would be safe.”

When kids are little, they love to wear their parents’ shoes.  You probably all remember your kids tromping around in some oversized shoes.  My kids have mostly outgrown that, but sometimes Makenzie still likes to try to walk around in a pair of high heels.  I have a lot of different shoes.  They serve a variety of purposes.  Some are just pretty or fun.  My favorite shoes, which I wear whenever it is warm enough, are my sandals.  They remind me of Jesus’ shoes.  I want to follow his footsteps, so that when my children follow mine, they follow his as well.

Lately, I’ve been trying to have more fun, individual activities with each of my children.  Several weeks ago, I decided to take Makenzie up to the last week of the Farmer’s Market in Salt Lake City.  I went to the bank and withdrew some money to have cash to buy produce with.  Soon after we arrived, I noticed a man approaching me.  With the duffle bag, they sleeping bag and they smell, I could tell he was homeless, and that he was going to ask me for money. 

A number of thoughts crossed my mind.  First, I know that the SLC official policy is to not give money to the homeless, but rather to give to the soup kitchen and homeless shelters.  This is a good policy—at these places the homeless can get help beyond a handout. 

However, I also thought of these words of King Benjamin in Mosiah 4 (16-19)

 And also, ye yourselves will succor those that stand in need of your succor; ye will administer of your substance unto him that standeth in need; and ye will not suffer that the beggar putteth up his petition to you in vain, and turn him out to perish.

 Perhaps thou shalt say: The man has brought upon himself his misery; therefore I will stay my hand, and will not give unto him of my food, nor impart unto him of my substance that he may not suffer, for his punishments are just—

 But I say unto you, O man, whosoever doeth this the same hath great cause to repent; and except he repenteth of that which he hath done he perisheth forever, and hath no interest in the kingdom of God.

 For behold, are we not all beggars? Do we not all depend upon the same Being, even God, for all the substance which we have, for both food and raiment, and for gold, and for silver, and for all the riches which we have of every kind?

And if ye judge the man who putteth up his petition to you for your substance that he perish not, and condemn him, how much more just will be your condemnation for withholding your substance, which doth not belong to you but to God, to whom also your life belongeth; and yet ye put up no petition, nor repent of the thing which thou hast done.

Even more than that, however, I knew that there was a little girl standing beside me, with her eyes were pinned on me to see what I would do.  I also knew that she would remember!!  I determined that I would give this man anything he asked of me.  When Andy approached me, I greeted him as a friend.  I listened as he recounted his many hardships.  He asked me for money for a meal and a hotel to shower, which I gave him.  I told him that God loved him, and watches over him.  He replied that he knew God watched over him—just that morning he had awoken in the parking garage where he lived, to find someone had left him that nice thick sleeping bag, a new parka and shirt, and a thick carpet to sleep on.  I hugged him good-bye, as did Makenzie.  As we walked away, I could see stars shining in her eyes.

President Smith said:

Let us bear witness in our daily acts, as well as in our conversation, that we believe this is the Father’s work and joy inexpressible will come to us, and the children that grow up in our homes will increase in faith and humility. They will be added upon, and be given power to turn aside the shafts of the adversary that are directed towards them, and in place of the distress that has afflicted the children of men, because of sinfulness, there will be comfort, peace and happiness, and … men and women will inhabit this earth who will have strength of character to put aside the evils of life.

What are some daily acts that bear particularly strong witness of our beliefs to our children?

One thing that I have found is that many of the good things I do, my children don’t necessarily see.  Paying tithing, reading my scriptures, are things that can be invisible to them.  I realized that what my kids mostly see is probably me on the computer, me being frustrated that they don’t do their homework, etc.  I’ve tried to make it a practice to make the best things more visible, such as leaving my scriptures lying open on the couch, or praying so that they can hear me.

Sometimes McKay still comes in and sleeps on our couch.  When he comes in, I’ve made a practice of always praying out loud, because he listens, then he will immediately pray himself. 

I’ve also started to pray more for people I know who are going through hard times.  When I pray for them, it makes me more grateful for all the blessings I have been given.  I also tell my children about whom I am praying for, and invite them to remember those people in their prayers.  One of my friends has a daughter, Kilee Krause, who was in a terrible accident and has been in a coma.  Makenzie asked that we dedicate our fast last week to her.  So, just by being more open and vocal about good things we are doing, it will be noticed by our children.

President Hinckley gave the following simple advice:

Set an example for them. That will mean more than all the teaching you can give them.

4.  By loving and teaching our youth, we can help safeguard them from evil.

President Hinckley taught:

My brethren and sisters, I plead with you that with more earnestness, with more thoughtfulness, more patience than ever before, you safeguard the rising generation from the pitfalls that the adversary has laid for their feet. Many of our [movies], radio programs, magazines, books, etc., are unfit … , and unless we neutralize the influence of these things by wholesome teaching and environment, bringing to the youth the benefits derived from knowing the lives of good men and women, teaching them the virtues of the prophets and the meaning of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, some of those whom we love may slip away from us. …

The Proclamation on the Family teaches:

THE FIRST COMMANDMENT that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.

President Hinckley reminded us:

Let us teach our children to be pure in their lives, to be upright. Teach your boys to safeguard the virtue of their sisters and their girl companions. Teach your daughters to safeguard the virtue of the boys they associate with. … Let us major, if we may use that term, in rearing our boys and girls under the influence of the Spirit of God, that the adversary will have no power to lead them astray.

How can we, with the influences around us, safeguard the virtue of our youth?

5.  Studying the gospel as a family will help us keep our children close to us.

Moroni 6:5 teaches:

And the ^achurch did meet together ^boft, to ^cfast and to pray, and to speak one with another concerning the welfare of their souls.

This counsel can also apply to our families. 

Quote 3  President Smith counseled:

“In our homes, brethren and sisters, it is our privilege, it is our duty, to call our families together to enjoy and strengthen and sustain each other, to be taught the truths of the Holy Scriptures. In every home, children should be encouraged to read the word of the Lord as it has been revealed to us in all dispensations. We should read the Bible, the Book of Mormon, the Doctrine and Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price; not only read it in our homes, but also explain it to our children that they may understand the … dealings of God with the peoples of the earth.  Let us see if we cannot do more of this in the future than we have done in the past. Let us commit ourselves to the principle and the practice of gathering our families around us in our own homes. Let each one of us ask himself: “Have I done my duty in my home in reading and in teaching the gospel, as it has been revealed through the prophets of the Lord? Have I kept my children close to me and made home a pleasant place and a place of reverence, love, understanding, and devotion?”  Our children are the most precious gift that our Father bestows upon us. If we can guide their feet in the pathway of salvation, there will be joy eternal for us and for them. …”

Moroni 6:4

…that they might be remembered and nourished by the good word of God, to keep them in the right way, to keep them continually ^dwatchful unto prayer, ^erelying alone upon the merits of Christ, who was the author and the finisher of their faith.

Last spring, I was doing some long runs preparing for a marathon.  Usually, I would run down from my house, down Canyon Crest, up to the mouth of the canyon, turn and go up the hill to Cedar Hills, and down the canyon road.  One Saturday, as I neared the intersection of the highway, I was thinking I was tired, and I should just run straight to the temple and avoid the hills.  I decided to stick to the original plan, and went up the hill as usual.  When I got to the top of the hill, I was exhausted, and struggling.  To my surprise, my husband pulled up with a water bottle full of his special energy drink.  To have that nourishment at that moment, unexpected, was such a boost.  As I started off again, I realized that if I had changed my route, I would have missed Dave, and not gotten the nourishment.

Proverbs 4:25-27 says:

 Let thine eyes look right on, and let thine eyelids look straight before thee.  Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established.  Turn not to the right hand nor to the left: remove thy foot from evil.“

When we gather our children daily for scripture study, we keep them on that path, and provide the nourishment they need.

Speaking specifically about family home evening, President Smith reminds us of these promises:

“If the Saints obey this counsel, we promise that great blessings will result. Love at home and obedience to parents will increase. Faith will be developed in the hearts of the youth of Israel, and they will gain power to combat the evil influences and temptations which beset them.  These principles and promises are still before us.”

Close with this final counsel from President Smith:

… Now in the midst of confusion, excitement and all the pleasures of life, … let us not lose sight of the duty that we owe these boys and girls who are created in the image of God. He is the Father of their spirits, and he will hold us responsible for the teaching that they receive. I hope and pray that we will so teach them that when the end shall come we can receive from him that blessing, “Well done, good and faithful servant, enter into the joy of thy Lord,” and that we may have our loved ones with us eternally.

Carson

I've often wondered if all my kids have ADHD, and if so, whether it is real ADHD or environmental (ie caused by me).  Whatever the case, about 6 weeks ago, I finally pulled Carson out of school to homeschool.  It was a hard decision, but he just wasn't learning, and his grades reflected that.

It's been going pretty good, although he'd really like to be in school.  The problem is, he sees school as a big 7 hour long social hour, which really isn't the point of school.

Yesterday morning was a frustrating one for me.  Carson was on his chair, off his chair, kneeling, backwards.  His body is in constant motion, and this morning was particularly bad.  I kept telling him to sit still, etc., but he was just all over the place.

I was getting pretty aggravated with him, when it hit me--if it is hard for me to watch Carson's wiggles, it must be sooo hard to BE Carson.  I don't know why, but his body/mind is just so constantly agitated. Everything must take so much effort for him, especially school, or anything else that requires focus.  I just felt so much compassion for him.  No wonder he does so poorly in school.  It takes so much work to try to sit still, it must just wear him out.

Well, I've tried meds before, and they didn't work, but I'm going to talk to a doctor again.  Poor little guy.